WOW

I can not believe my weigh in today! I have been doing pretty well with my 36 points. Staying within a few points less or more since Saturday. Well it paid off! ACK!

At home weight: 133
Weight Watchers Weight: 133.8
Weekly loss: -1.2
Total Loss: -27.4

When I got on the scale this morning it said 133.0. I stepped on and off 3 more times! I could not believe it. I haven't seen that in YEARS! That means I have officially lost off my pregnancy weight that I gained with C, my second! haha. Here is to another good week. Let's just hope I can make it through the holidays!

I am high...

...on endorphin's. I always forget how great walking makes me feel. I feel lighter and skinner. I come home and clean up the house. I get stuff done when I have walked. The only negative is feeling gross...like dirty and sweaty...afterwards.

I am hoping to have a good weight loss this week. I have been sticking to my points since Saturday. I feel like I am getting on track again.

Plateau

I have hit a plateau. No doubt about it. But I think part of it is that I haven't followed the points very well the last month. My emotions have been all over the place and I am an admitted emotional eater. Between soccer and all kinds of life stuff I have not been great about sticking to the points.

I did lose this week though:
Weight Watchers Weight: 135.0
Weekly Loss: -.6
Total Loss: -26.2

I am 5lbs away from my goal. I want to hit that by February. At this point I don't know if that will happen. I know that is 3 months, but I need to buckle down and follow the plan. I will say it's been hard to know if the points are right for me. Since E is still nursing 95% of the time but some days she eats more solids I don't know if the 40 is too much. I have been playing around with the points so right now I am trying 36 per day. I am hoping this helps.

I changed my weigh in day to Wednesday. I don't really like the ladies that work Wednesday mornings at the meeting I go to but I don't have a choice right now since they don't open until 11 on Tuesday. One lady chastised me for not having my monthly pass card (which I've never used ever) because I need it for when the computers are down. Okay, yes, one more thing I need to carry that I never use. Plus it's all old ladies and they are either nice or mean.

Today is my monthly picture and measuring. I did not take a picture because there was no point. I haven't lost any significant weight or inches.

11/17/2013
Weight: 136.0 (-.2)
Waist: 36 (same)
Hips: 37 (-.5)
Bust: 39 (same)
Arms: 10.25 (.-25)

What annoys me is my scale at home. I know that the weight watchers weight is most accurate because it has the same variables each week but still. According to Weight Watchers weight I was 137.6 on 10/15 and this week I was 135. So that is -2.6. Obviously that is different than my home weight loss of .2!

I did cut down on Diet Coke again. I only drink Diet Coke, Water, and the occasional Dr. Pepper or Unsweet tea. I wish there was more I could drink that had no calories.

Weigh In - last 2 weeks

I shouldn't really have to write anything. I lost .4 then I gained it back. :( I didn't eat that well, but my scale said 134.7 and their scale was up. Who knows.

I am eating better today. I ate too much yesterdays. I've had some stress going on so I eat when I am stressed. I did work out a few times and that helped, but my working out is sometimes more social interaction than working out. The weather has been cold and raining so no walking. I miss walking. I wish we could walk again.

Weight Watchers Charm and picture

Here is my 10% key chain and my new 25lb charm!

Here is me in regular clothes!

Weigh In #25

Weigh in day is usually Tuesday. I couldn't weigh in yesterday because E had an appointment for her eye. She still had a clogged tear duct so we had it unclogged.

I did okay this week. I did pretty good the last few days but I still had a few sweets. Hubby wanted pumpkin pie and C turned 5 on Monday so I made a cake. Why do I have to be good at baking? I love to bake too! I love to eat the batter. I would be fine just eating the batter. haha. So I had no idea how I would do this week. I am back up to 40 points a day because I was just too hungry and then I would over eat.

How I feel about my body. Some days I feel great about my body. I feel skinny and lean. Other days I still feel fat. I can't see myself as slender or smaller. Hubby thinks I look GREAT! He tells me a lot how great I look. :)

And here is the shocker!

Weigh in:
At home: 135.3
Weight Watchers: 135.6!!!!
Weekly Loss: -2lbs!
Total Loss: -25.6lbs

WHAT THE HECK?!?!

I had no idea I would lose 2 freaking pounds! I really have no idea how that happened!!! I got a little 25lbs charm for my key chain. Maybe I should weigh in every Wednesday. Well except this morning they were short a person and all the little old ladies were in a tizzy because they couldn't weigh in. Also, this morning I got my first "Why are you here, you look great!". It was from a man though. It was one of my fears going in thinking people would judge me because I am not as overweight as they are. :/ I just pointed to Ella and said this is the reason.

So, 5.6 lbs until my goal weight! Toning up after that.

Measurements

It's been 6 months today that I started measuring myself. There is a huge difference. haha

The pictures basically speak for themselves.

Left: 9/17  Right: 10/17

There is a noticeable difference but I only lost .75

 Left: 4/17 Right: 10/17

Weigh in #23 & #24

I need to start this off with the best news of all. MY JEANS DON'T FIT ANYMORE. My favorite jeans no longer fit. They fit right out of the dryer but that's it. I went to a rich area where there is a resale shop and bought 2 pairs of name brand jeans. I love them. YAY!

I failed again at updating last week. It's hard to actually sit down at my computer to type out a simple blog post. I was going to do it on Tuesday, and thought about it, but since today is my measure and picture day I decided to wait until today to post. I have some time because E is in her high chair 'eating' puffs and I am eating breakfast.

October 8:
At Home: 136.7
Weight Watchers: 137.0
Weekly loss: -1.2
Total Weight Loss: -24.2

That is 15% of my body weight! I was really excited. The walking has really been paying off.

So that brings us to this week. I didn't track much. I ate whatever some days. I did not walk because it's been raining non-stop. It was just bad. I knew I had gained.

October 15:
At Home: 137.3
Weight Watchers: 137.6
Weekly gain: +.6
Total Weight Loss: -23.6

Of course I was not happy, but it was my own fault. I am struggling to find a good balance though because E is eating more solids some days. I feel like I should take away points but then some days I am starving. I talked to the WW lady and she said if you feel hungry, eat the 40 points. If you don't feel hungry and she has eaten more solids that day, eat less points. Just play with it.

Since it's been raining my friend suggested we do a workout video at her house. She keeps 1 to 2 babies and since I have E they could just play. I didn't feel much on the first day but the video we did yesterday was awesome. I went and bought it plus 2 small 3lb weights. I woke up this morning with sore abs and arms. YAY!

Weigh In #21 & #22

I started this post yesterday, but got distracted by my motherly duties.

I forgot to post last weeks weigh in. It has been a busy few weeks. We have had soccer practice, ballet, and 1/2 of the family was sick! E is finally better, G still has the hacky cough, but I am now sick. Bleh. I have felt icky since last night.

On to the weigh in from last week.

At home: 138.3
Weight Watchers: 139.2
Weekly Loss: -.4
Total Weight Loss: -22

My normal routine for Tuesday morning are drop G off, drop C off, then drive and wait until 9 am so I can weigh in. Well they changed their hours starting this week. UGH! They won't open until 10:45am. I used to be able to not eat or drink until 9am. I now I have to rework my schedule. Bleh. I decided to eat some eggs and drink some water this morning. Also, C is changing pre-schools to one that is in town so it will be a bit easier on my pocket book, gas and sanity so I don't have to deal with a screaming E for 20 minutes.

I ate okay last week. I was worried about the different time of weighing in and the not eating well would make me not lose much. I walked Friday and Monday so I know that helped. We walked on Friday and 5.44 yesterday. I was happy with that.

Here is this weeks weigh in:

At home: 137.3
Weight Watchers: 138.2
Weekly Loss: -1
Total Weight Loss: -23

YAY! So happy that even though I ate not so awesome, I still did well this week. I also decided to reduce my points on Monday because E is eating solids more regularly. Hubby is the feeder and pretty regular with it. I think it's what made me lose so much from Sunday to today.

Weigh In #20

139.7 - Weight at home

139.6 - weight watchers weight
Total weight loss: 21.6!

That is -1.6!!

Finally! I haven't had this much weight loss since the summer! I ate really good this week. I walked several times. My friend and I walked 4.6 miles yesterday! I am 9.6lbs away from my goal weight. I am a few pounds away from not being considered 'overweight'. I bought a pair of size 4 shorts from Target today! I am very excited. I rewarded myself with a Dr. Pepper today. Also, the other thing I did this week was only drink 1 diet coke per day. I did that, mostly. hehe. I also didn't eat after 6/7pm. 

The number one thing I do worry about is my milk. Which, as of right now, has not suffered at all. So that is a plus. Yay. Until next week.

Scale is moving

I have been really really discouraged the last few weeks. I can't seem to get my head straight and it's showing in my weight loss. As you know I gained .2, which isn't a lot, but in my head it is. I am sure that is a skewed view but whatever.

I walked 4 miles on Wednesday and I am trying to decide if I want to walk this morning once E is up from her nap.

I have had several people tell me that I look good. One told me I was her inspiration! ha. It is very sweet for people to say that. My hubby just likes my big boobs, haha.

I do admit I am feeling skinny at times. I over ate on Wednesday night and I felt so gross. I haven't over eaten in a long time. I forgot it feels gross. It lasted several hours. Today I am hungry. Mostly it's just boredom. That is one thing I struggle with is boredom eating. Maybe I'll look up some ways to battle that.

For now, I'll go pick up the house. :)

Weigh In #19

I don't even want to post. I gained. But I only gained .2. It is my own fault though. I made cinnamon rolls and I ate a lot of carbs yesterday. I want to lower my points but my lovely husband said I shouldn't because I am becoming obsessed with losing weight. He says I look good and give yourself credit, that I have lost 20lbs. He is right though, hate admitting that, but he is right. Another reason I am upset is because my jeans do not fit around my waste still. It's still from my pregnancy. I know it is. I gain weight in my stomach so it's all still sitting there.

I can give this reason or that but really it's my own fault. I ate like crap. I am feeling itchy to do something though, like craft or paint a wall. I just don't have time.

I need to think of something to change this week instead of have a pity party. I think I will drink as much water as I can. Always have water around. And only one Diet Coke. It's my guilty habit.

Weigh In #18

140.9 Weight at home

141.0 WW weight

-.4 from last week

-20.2 total weight loss

I happy with that. Still really slow but I am okay with it. The only thing I am still annoyed with is my postpartum belly. It's still ugh. Pants still don't fit much. Muffin top still. Yuck. I am thinking my abdominal muscles are separated. I still sometimes look 4 months pregnant. 

I started walking again this morning. C started dance and I met a lady that lives in my city. We are meeting up Monday, Wednesday, and Friday to walk. We walked 2.5 miles this morning.

My scale this morning said 140.0! I am THISCLOSE to the 130's! Woot!

Weigh In #17

Weight at Home: 140.1

Weight Watchers Weight: 141.4

Loss this week: -.8

Total weight loss: 19.8

I am happy with that weight loss this week. I worked hard the last 3 days. My hubby is trying to lose about 10lbs so he makes us lunch and dinner. I eat a better balance of food when he cooks. He is a good cook so I know it will be healthy and yummy.

The one thing I am struggling with is actually SEEING the difference. I can not see the difference in my body. I see the scale going down, but it doesn't register. I am sure there is something wrong in my wiring somewhere, but I can't figure it out.

I am feeling better spiritually. Not 100% but better. 

I don't think my postpartum belly will be normal until about 9-12 months after E was born. I am almost 6 lbs less than but my clothes fit everywhere but my stomach. So weird. I don't remember it being like this before, but before I was drunk. Ha. 

So hopefully next week I will have lost 20lbs!

Weigh in #16

Weight at home: 141.5
Weight Watchers: 142.2!
-1.0! Total Weight Loss: 19lbs!
Awesome. I didn't even track that much this week. Crazy. My body needed that break.

This journey for me is more than losing weight to be healthy. It's about learning to love my body during the process and right now. I am never good enough. I keep thinking I'll be happy when I make it to X weight. I am never really happy right in the moment. There are times when I am kind of happy but I am using other things to try and fill that void. I have been shopping a lot. Hubby gives me spending money on clothes, but I have been doing it more and more. I actually felt guilty today. And I only bought a jacket. I did buy E some fall/clothes. I bought G & C each a toy today.

I really need to figure out what is going on emotionally. My sponsor just moved to Colorado and I miss her. I still call her 1 or 2 times a week. I just don't feel spiritually fit right now. I am not getting to many meetings because of E. The kids start school next week so I will be able to get to WW meetings and maybe try some noon AA meetings.

On a funny note. G told me today he knows why I am going to Weight Watchers. He said it's because I just had a baby and I want to lose the weight I gained. I asked him what made him know that is why, if he'd been talking to someone about it. He said no one, that he had thought of that on his own. Haha. Funny kid. Then C asked me how I got so sexy. :)

Pictures

04/17/13                       08/18/13

Weigh In #15 - late

It's been a crazy week. I'll start with my weigh in from Tuesday.

143.2 -.2. Bleh. I am happy I didn't gain, but I am annoyed that my weight is coming off really slowly. I am still on track to get to my goal weight by the time E is 1, but still.

This week I have only tracked one day. I have not gone too crazy but I just needed to give myself a break from tracking. Even if I gain weight, I needed a mental break from it. I've worked really hard the last 15 weeks. I had a personal thing happen on Wednesday that got my adrenaline going and I had a skin cancer removed on Thursday. I didn't eat from 8pm - 4pm the next day.

Hubby and I walked this morning (1.77m) so I am glad we did something active. So even if I gain this week I will be okay because mentally I am better. Though my scale doesn't have me gaining weight. I am around 141.2-142.2. I was 142.2 this morning. :)

I have no title today

I am starting this post with out a title. I feel like writing but I don't really know what this is about yet. I do know that I am finally staying in the 142's. I feeeeel lighter. I feel better. I was thinking the other day I do not feel tired at 2-3 in the afternoon like I used to. I don't really know why that is different. I used to work 8-5 and be at a desk most of the day. Now I stay at home so I am more active during the day. The kids start school in 2 weeks, which I am definitely ready for, and I can get into a walking routine again. I have walked 3 times this week. I was going to walk this morning but I was lazy.

We went over to my sister's house last night for my mom's birthday. I ate over my points on Wednesday so I was doing my best to stay in my points yesterday. Hubby and I met with some people for his work and we went to Whiskey Cake. They do not have healthy options. I just ended up getting a burger. I ate the twisty fries too. I knew I shouldn't have but I did. I also could not find the nutrition fact anywhere. I had to guess. Annoying. Whatever.

My hubby tells me all the time I am getting skinnier. He is seeing it more and more. I am glad he says it unprompted. My sister and her husband also told me they haven't seen me this skinny in a long time. It honestly made me feel so good. I have worked hard on losing this weight and people are noticing. Hell, I've lost almost 20lbs since April.

It's weird to think I might actually get to my goal weight. I have been wanting to get to this weight since I had my almost 5 year old. :)

Weigh In #14

When I have been with Weight Watchers for 16 weeks I will get a little charm. I guess they say that once you've made it to 16 weeks you have a new habit. :)

My scale said 142.9. Finally!! Even if it's just barely in the 142's.

Weight Watchers: 143.4. Weight loss of .4. Not bad. I talked to the lady for a little bit about feeling stuck. She gave me a few suggestions. Add some dairy. So I am eating one yogurt per day. I am not a yogurt eater but I need to do try something different since my body is stuck. I told her I eat eggs for breakfast every morning. She said add 2 egg whites to your one egg. I also have a goal to eat no fast food. I will eat Sonic Tater Tots because they are only 3 points and it's quick when I am out.

I did not count my points yesterday because I was frustrated. Guess what the scale said this morning? 142.6! I lost! Haha. So we will see if this works.

Feeling good

I am feeling good right now. Mostly. I am still in the 143's, which is driving me nuts! But I knew I needed to change something. I walked the last 2 days. Both days I walked 1.65 miles. I was SORE last night. I had to take some ibuprofen. I went to the splash pad with the kids today. I cleaned the house up. Did laundry. And I stayed in my points...mostly. ;)

I haven't been this dedicated to my weight loss in a while. Probably since the last time I was stuck. So we shall see how my weigh in goes tomorrow. :)

Feeling discouraged

I am feeling discouraged today. Mostly because I am not at my goal weight yet. I am not even close. Closer than I was, but I am kinda in the middle of a pity party today. Plus all I have wanted to do today is eat. Eat. Eat. Eat. I am still in my points today but I just want to eat. I really need to go to a WW meeting. I will make it a point of doing that next week. Also, I need to find a time to work out.

I threw away my scale that is being dumb. It hasn't moved under 144.2 in a few days. The other one has me a pound lower than that. So I decided to just toss it. Plus it was a cheap scale anyways.

Weigh in #13

I can't believe I forgot to post my weigh in from Tuesday!

Home weight: 143.8
Weight Watchers: 143.8

Total weight loss: -17.4

I get scared every week that I am going to gain. My scale at home is stupid. I should just put it away and use the one that seems to be more accurate. I have been stuck in the 143/144 for the past 2 weeks so I guess that is one reason why I am scared I am going to have gained. I am itching to work out, but have not been motivated enough to do it. I still walk between 4000-5000 steps per day. I clean up the house and do laundry. Sometimes with E in my arms. I know that helps.

What do I do to sabotage myself? BAKING I love to bake. Cookies, banana bread, all the yummy stuff. But it's so easy. And it's so easy to eat.

I will keep plugging along.

I 'stress-ate' tonight

I am a stress eater. I eat when I am bored. I eat when I want to buy something but it doesn't cost a lot. I like to buy clothes but I don't like paying very much for them. I will leave the store without buying anything and the first thing I think is..."I'll go to Sonic." I have been better about not doing that. I actually resisted doing that today. I actually ate pretty well today. Then I went to a meeting. E babbles and talks now so going to meetings is increasingly difficult. We took her into the sitter but then she screamed. Last week hubby's sister watched her for 45 minutes without us there and she did fine! At a meeting last Friday she let someone hold her for 15.

So, we left. I haven't left a meeting early since I was drunk during the meeting and felt guilty. Then hubby and I were discussing something else and all I wanted to do was eat something. I did have a little part of my brain think, don't completely blow it, but I still wanted something. I haven't had a Dr. Pepper in I don't know how long. This is new because I L.O.V.E. Dr. Pepper. Mmmmmm. We stopped at QT. I got a 12oz Dr. Pepper and a SKOR bar. The pop was good, but the candy bar didn't quite live up to its comforting fantasy. I don't feel guilty over the candy or pop, but I just feel meh.

I was watching Extreme Weight Loss (which I love) and the lady started out at 290 at 5"4'. She got down to 145. I thought, she is smaller than me. OH WAIT! No, I am 143.4. I honestly still picture myself at 150. I have been thinking about why I don't feel motivated. I am the type to figure out WHY a behavior is happening and treat the problem. My guess right now is my clothes don't feel any loser. I see a small change in my appearance, but it's so minimal right now that I feel like I have no rewards. Plus, time is creeping right now.

The kids go back to school in a month. They have been good overall this summer. It's the first time I have had them home full time since they were babies. I just want some routine back I guess. Hopefully I can get out of this unmotivated rut and get my butt in gear. I think I need to make a happy list! Things I should pat myself on the back for doing.

I have lost almost 17lbs in 3 months.
I feel better overall.
I am not as tired as I used to be.
I went outside and played soccer with G on Tuesday.
I have STUCK with this, even when I have not felt motivated.
I am still losing. I haven't actually gained.

There it is. I feel a tiny bit better. One day at a time my friends.

Weigh In #12

I have felt stuck and unmotivated. I am not sure what to do to get myself motivated. I would like to work out. When I am bored I want to eat or bake. OH how I love to bake. I love making treats for my kids and my lovelyhubby. That is just a recipe for disaster.

So my scale this morning said 144.2. Not thrilled because I was at 143.6 earlier this week. Whatever, it's still less than what I was last week.

I get to WW to weigh in. I was nervous. I am nervous every week.

144.6. Thank goodness a loss of .6! So as of today, -16.6.

I need to figure out a motivation. I am not sure my next WW goal. I'd like a small one. I think I'll make it for myself. So my next goal is a loss of 20lbs. That is 3.4lbs. I am still on track to get to my goal weight by E's first birthday. That makes me happy.

Picture Progress

My scale yesterday said 143.6! I haven't been 143 since 2010!! I wore some shorts today that were too big. I didn't realize it until they were falling off.

April, May, June, & July.

 April & July

Weigh in #11

Weight at home: 144.6

Weight Watchers Weight: 145.2

That means I made my 10% goal. I have lost 10% of my body weight! That is 16lbs!

I only lost .2 this week. I did not eat that great, I rarely tracked and I didn't work out. I only needed to lose .2 to make my 10% goal though. It's hard to believe I have lost that much weight. 16lbs!

I want to list the things I am not happy about my body. I don't think right now it is productive, but I want to look back and see if it's changed.

My stomach is still were most of my weight is. I assumed it would shrink more since I am below what I was even at my 150 before E.

My arms.

My love handles.

I know I could work on all of this by doing exercises that would target those areas. But I don't have that much time or motivation to do it. I did play soccer with G last night. My legs are sore. Maybe I should do that more often. Change stuff up. Also, a tragedy of epic proportions happened. I lost my fitbit for 2 days! lol It's okay now, because I found it.

Thoughts on feeling stuck

I have been so focused on getting to my pre-pregnancy weight that I feel weird that I am still losing after it. I am at 145.8 which is below that. I feel like I am stuck, even though I am not stuck. It doesn't feel real that I am still losing the weight. 130 seems so far away. Yet, I have lost 15lbs in 10 weeks. How is that possible?!

I think part of why I feel stuck is my clothes still fit differently. I am guessing it is because of the pregnancy itself. Which is okay. I can handle that. I am nervous that once I get to 130 I still won't be happy. I guess that is what the journey is about. The theme of this blog is to love myself ON this journey. Love my body the way it is before I make it. If I don't love my body now, I know I won't be happy once I make it to 130.

Weigh in #10!

Weight Watchers: 145.4
Home: 145.8

I have no idea how I weighed LESS at WW than my home scale. 

I did not track that well this week. I was in Arizona and I ate more cookies than I should have. I did eat in most of the time because it was so hot. Plus I had E at home with me while most people went out to do stuff. I did swim and we went shopping on Friday. 

I really want to walk/jog again. It's just TOO HOT! And I am not getting up at 6-630am to walk/run. I will just have to wait for it to cool off. 

Here are my measurements to date:

WW weight
4/23: 161.2
7/8: 145.4
-15.8

4/23/13
Waist: 40.5
Hips:41

7/8/13
Waist: 38
Hips: 38.5

H: -2.5 inches
W: -2.5 inches

Weigh in #9

I have completely forgotten to post the pictures from June. I am not motivated enough to do it right now. Ha.

I weighed in today because I won't be in town tomorrow. I never know what it will say because my scale, their scale, and the variation of activity between weighing myself and their scale is never the same.

My scale said 146.6 this morning. This is a good weight, as it's less than last week. I go at my normal 9-930 time. It says 146.4!! Woot. That is the weight I was on their scales before I got pregnant. So officially I have lost all my pregnancy weight! Now I just have to lose the weight from G, who will be 7 in August. hehe.

(Side note, while I am typing my husband is singing God Bless The USA to E. haha

I made it!

I weighed myself this morning (as I always do). I knew I had a good day yesterday with eating and doing extra things to make sure I'd get some exercise in. It said 146.6! I drank a lot of water yesterday and I went #2 a lot. TMI, I know. I still haven't been able to regulate my bowl movements. It doesn't matter what I eat or what I don't eat. I still can't go every day.

Back to the 146.6! That means I am .6 away from June 6 2012...the day I found out I was pregnant! I am happy about that! That means I have 16.6 lbs until I hit my goal weight. My 10% is 145 so only a few pounds to hit that also! :)

Weigh in #8

This was a rough week. I was only able to walk Thursday and Friday. It's too damn hot now! It gets so hot by even 8am. It sucks. I feel like I am in a slump with exercise. I did walk around the mall on Sunday though. Had almost 8000 steps.

I did not weigh in last week because I thought I could only weigh in on Tuesday. I was wrong but doesn't matter now. My scale said 147.6. Weight Watchers said 148.0. That was a -.2 change from 2 weeks ago. I am glad I didn't gain. I even ate Zucchini bread yesterday. Too much of it! I have to weigh in on Monday because we are going to see my dad next week with the kids. I have have have to stay in my points. I need to figure out how to be active inside.

So total weight loss with Weight Watchers: 13.2 lbs. I am still happy with that. I am on track to get to my goal weight before E's first birthday. How cool will it be when I am at a weight I have wanted to be at since I was pregnant with C!

What?!?!

As I said in my last post I went on vacation last week. We went to Vancouver, BC...well actually a town outside of it, Gibsons. It was a ferry ride over. It was AMAZING! The town was gorgeous, the house we stayed in was right on the water and the whole area is filled with greenery. I wasn't going to be able to track because of internet access. I didn't really want to track that much anyways but was still afraid of gaining too much weight. I figured I would gain since I wasn't tracking. I had my fitbit so I knew how many steps I'd been taking so I had that to help.

My average steps per day were about 4000-5000. Not great, but those steps where stairs and hills. Our house had probably 20 stairs. So we used this going up and down eat day several times per day. Sometimes carrying E and sometimes not. We walked a lot around the town after parking. I know that helped keep the weight off. I did not watch what I ate. I even had gelato one day! We went to Vancouver the last day of our trip. We walked 14,000!!! steps that day! I was feeling fat that night. Even though I ate whatever, I still was silently freaking out over the potential weight I had gained. I thought for sure I had gained at least 2lbs.

Since we were flying home yesterday I decided to start tracking again. I ate fairly well but only went over my points by 2.

So it all comes down to this morning when I went to weigh myself. I was prepared for the 150's. When I left I was 147.6 on my scale. Last Tuesday the day before vacation I was 148.2. I get up, pee, then get on the scale........148.6! WTH!!! I got off, got on again. 148.6. I was so happy. In hindsight the feeling fat was bloat, I guess. I was so happy. I am so happy. I don't have to walk my butt off this week to lose more weight. Yipee!

Now that it's hot sooner, I am going to have to walk sooner. I can't today because E went to sleep last night at 10:30pm! She is still asleep at 8:15. I will resume that tomorrow. :)

Weigh in #7

Each week on Monday and Tuesday morning I get so nervous. Tuesday is the day that my week, in regards to my weight, revolves around. I weigh myself each day but who knows what the scale at WW will say.

I did not eat that great this week. I ate out at a Mexican restaurant and I had a mini cheeseburger with fries yesterday. I only walked once. On the good side I quit buying Diet Coke for the house. I am still doing my Ab Challenge. I am on day 10  oops 13. I also did stuff to compensate for not walking. I went swimming, I cleaned out my car and vacuumed it. I consider that 'cross-training'. I wonder around the stores when I get stuff. I know that walking helps. Any amount of walking, cleaning, etc helps.

So what was my weight? 148.2! That is 13lbs total! What the heck!? I have no idea how I lost 1.6 this week. I know E was going through a growth spurt and nursed a lot more. Who knows, but I will take it.

I will be on vacation this week. We are going to the North West so lots of seafood will be had. I LOVE fresh seafood. I hope I don't gain this week. If not, I will kick it into gear the following week.

Crazy crazy

I did not watch what I ate yesterday. I was okay with gaining weight because I just wanted to eat. I think I went over by 20pts! I got on the scale and it said 148.8!! What the heck?! I lost weight!! Woot!!

Weigh in #6

It was a good weigh in! 149.8! My scale said 149.4 so I was surprised to see it say 149.8. My total weight loss at Weight Watchers is 11.6lbs! Very exciting. I didn't to anything really that different. Just walked and ate better food instead of high point bad foods. I haven't walked since Sunday because I haven't been able to, but I will on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, & Sunday. I'll do my 5 mile workout on Sunday probably. Maybe Monday. I stayed in my points yesterday. I usually go over but I wanted a good weigh in. :)

I started the 30 Day Ab Challenge. I know that you won't be able to seeee the results of the abs because I still have a layer of fat on top of them, but I like feeling the burn in my legs and abs the next day. I actually have been doing the workout twice a day. I have my hubby doing it with me also. He asked to join me.

a couple of things

First of all I am typing with one hand. I have E in my left arm on the bed. :)

My scale finally hit below 150!!!! It was 149.6 this morning! This makes for a happy mama!! My weight loss has slowed down so it's hard to see that my workouts and eating is still making progress. I have pair of pants that does fit better. I also feeeel smaller. I am really obsessive over the scale. Which I know could seem like a problem but I am not consumed with it.

My kids are out of school now so I am going to have to take them to meetings. I have decided to bribe them with QT slushies to be quiet while there. haha I am not above it. I wont be able to walk as much as I've said before but I guess I could stay under my points every day. ;) Walking has been my help because I do go over 2-3 points per day.

My face has been breaking out more than normal right now. I have no idea why but it's really annoying. Oh the first world problems I have are so overwhelming! haha

Yesterday

I ate WAY over my points yesterday. I even had a Dr. Pepper before bed. I just didn't care. I knew I'd gain weight but I was willing to accept that. I got on the scale this morning and it was the same as yesterday! :) I have been down about the slowing of the weight loss so this small thing helped.

Weigh in #5

My scale this morning said 150.6. I guess I am now stuck in the 150.0's. ;)

The Weight Watcher's scale said 151.4. So total weight loss for WW is 9.8lbs! Yay! I was hoping I would get the extra .2 so I could have my 10lbs but I'll hopefully get it next week.

My older 2 kids get out school this week. I am secretly worried because I am not going to have time to walk M-W because they will be with me. It would be too much of a hassle to have them come with me. They would complain. Plus it's my quiet time. They go to their dad's house T-F. They will be with their dad for most of June so I will have a chance to work out during that time.

I have been eating a lot this week but I am pretty sure my walking/jogging has been helping keep the weight off. I walked/jogged for 5.08 miles yesterday. It took me 1:08! :) I was pleased with myself. On Sunday we met our friends to run at 7am. I ran for a little while but walked most of it. It was just nice for us to get out. I also hit my highest steps ever yesterday: 14,114!

Here's to getting in the 140's next week! :)

Finally!

I worked really hard on Thursday to get past this plateau. And I did it! My scale said 150.8! My scale this morning said 150.2! I went over my points yesterday but I also walked/jogged 2.5 miles. I think one thing that is helping is I am not eating bad snacks. I was eating my points but my snack choices were not that great. I even had these amazing Avocado Enchiladas with sour cream sauce. yum yum!

I also FEEL skinnier! I feel lighter. I am going to try on some pants I haven't tried on in a while and see how they feel. 150 was my top limit last year before I was pregnant. So I am happy I am getting closer to my pre-pregnancy range.

Stuck & a Jogging stroller

I've been stuck in the 151's on my scale at home for a week! I am annoyed. I even ate fantastic yesterday. I got m y new jogging stroller yesterday & already had plans of walk/jogging today. So I walk/jogged 4.63 miles!! yay! I felt decent overall. The second mile was the hardest. I added a short block because I still felt good at the end. I'll add I am currently high on endorphins. hehe.

E did great in the stroller. She fell asleep the last mile or so. It has shocks so it rides smoother. The handle is bouncy because of the shocks but I'll get use to it. :)

I started Weight Watchers one month ago today. My weight loss with them is 8.8lbs! :) I need to be proud of myself even if my jeans still give me a muffin top.

Weigh in #4

I weighed in at 152.4. This week was -.6 like I did 2 weeks ago. Total weight lose is 8.8 lbs. I am not unhappy about this but I am not happy. I just need to find a medium. I am still losing and that is what I think is important. Plus I can't lose too much per week while I am exclusively nursing.

This week

I have eaten decent this week. I don't eat really eat that much fast food, I think I ate Chick Fil A twice. But not bad stuff. Anyways, I was a bit well...TMI...constipated. I ate a ton of fiber rich foods on Friday and got some Target brand miralax. I finally went yesterday. I am still up on my weight, which upsets me. The only thing different I didn't do this week was walk/run as much. I think I walked twice. Most of it was because I was lazy, the other part was because it was raining 2 of the days I usually walk/run. So I was determined to walk this morning. I walked/ran 4.39miles! Yay! My fitbit didn't pick up all of my miles but whatever, I know what I walked. E was awake for the first 2.2 miles, then thankfully fell asleep the last 2.2.

I bought a jogging stroller. I am going to wear out my Graco stroller in no time. I am excited because it's a nice one. :) Here is to hoping I can get back down before Tuesday.

One Month Pictures

I lost 1.5 inches in my waist. 

I lost 1 inch in my hips.

On my scale I have lost 6.6lbs (as opposed to my 8.2 at Weight Watchers)

You can't see a whole lot of difference from the front.

The difference is from the side. :) 

Impatient

I am getting really impatient. I really want to fit in my clothes. I wear yoga pants and shorts 95% of the time. I did try on the capri's and they get over my butt but aren't even close to buttoning.

I walked yesterday but only a mile because E was getting upset. I will walk in the morning. She usually falls asleep around 10am so I will go then. I need to do 3 miles. I had a hard day emotionally because I've been without hubby and the kids have been running me down. I almost emotional ate today. Thankfully I didn't and I stayed within my points. I wanted a second Dr. Pepper so badly. That is my weakness.....mmmmm.

Weigh In #3

153.0! That is down 3lbs! Yay! I was excited because of my weigh in last week. This means that I have hit my 5% goal of 8lbs. I have lost a total of 8.2lbs!

What I did differently this week? I walked/ran more. I walked/ran Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday & Sunday. I hit over 10,000 steps all the days I walked/ran. I think that helped a lot.

On Saturday I did not track at all. I had family over & it was too much to watch what I ate. I was hoping I had not sabotaged myself from the great week I had. Luckily I had not. I made myself walk/run 3.25 miles on Sunday as a trade. That the other thing I did. I added a mile to my walks.

I found a carb balance tortilla that is only one point so I made my breakfast burritos with those this week. They are good. So I can now make them for only 4 points with the Egg Beaters.

I am going to take my picture this Friday. It will have been 1 month since my last picture. My clothes still don't fit that well, but I know I am making progress. The one thing I'd like to add is weights and working on certain areas. I want to use the 5lbs weights on my arms and then work on my inner thighs. That part giggles the most. haha.

Until next time.

Weigh In #2

I weighed in today for the 2nd time. Not nearly as great as last week but it was a loss. 156.00. So .6 loss. I knew it wouldn't be that great because I didn't try as hard.

I upped my walking to 3.24 miles. I added a loop onto my workout. I even jogged some. I just got back from a walk/jog but only did 2.1m today. I jogged most of the last mile. It felt great!! I am walking in the morning with my friend. Her neighborhood has lots of hills.

My long term goal is to be at 130 by the time E turns 1. So February. If I lose at least 1lb per week I can attain that well before that. My short term goal is my pre-pregnancy jeans.

I have some pants I found a month ago. I have been looking for these specific capri pants for a couple of years. I found them at a resale shop. The waist is 30...but I measured it and it was 32 inch. My waist right now is 40.5. So I have a ways to go until I can fit in them. But I WANT to fit in them so badly.

FOOD
I have been making more food to eat and/or freeze. I make these yummy breakfast burrito's at the beginning of each week.

1 egg (or egg substitute like Egg Beaters)
1/2 Turkey sausage
1/8 cup colby jack cheese
1/2 whole wheat tortilla

With an egg it is 7 points, with the Egg Beaters is 6. Not a huge difference but they taste the same.

My favorite frozen dinner is potatoes, cheese, and broccoli. I made my own.

1 cup of red potatoes
1/2 cup of broccoli
1/4 cup colby jack cheese

It is 6 points. It's the same as the frozen, just fresher & less sodium/preservatives.

My Clothes

My jeans 'fit'. I use that word loosely because while they button, I have serious muffin top. I hate it. I still wear my maternity jeans some just so I don't have muffin top. Usually when I lose 5 lbs my clothes fit better. Not right now though. I get so frustrated any time I have to get dressed. I feel gross still. I just want my damn clothes to fit now.

First Weigh In

I had my first WW weigh in today. According to their scale I was 161.1 lbs. On their scale today I was 156.6. That is a -4.6!! I was really surprised because according to my scale I had only lost 3lbs. So my scale must be off. Doesn't matter I lost weight. I was really proud of myself. I stayed for the meeting but had to leave early because E was getting upset. She was tired anyways.

I didn't get to walk today because I had the meeting and go to the store for my mom. But I got walking in, just not as much. I'll walk tomorrow. I am sticking with my 2.2 miles in the mornings. It's getting warmer so shorts are going to be worn from now on!!

10lbs until pre-prego weight!

Yesterday was the easiest day so far of eating less. I think I even had 2 points left over. I remember now that once you start to get the hang of Weight Watchers it is easier to add in 0 point or 1 point foods. We made our own fruit salad and it was yummy. Well except for the fact that husband put too much lemon juice and I winched each bite. 

I also hit my 10,000 steps again yesterday. I am getting closer each day though. I usually hit 8000-9000 steps. On Thursday when I met my friend we walked her neighborhood with lots of hills. They were hard but they felt good. AND I felt them yesterday and still some today. I attempted walking yesterday but E was getting fidgety after lap so I went home. I needed to run some errands so I could get the rest of the walking done there. 

Like the title says I am officially 10 lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight! So far my decrease in calories has not affected my supply either. That is a big concern of decreasing calories while breastfeeding. 

Overall I feel good and I feel lighter. Though I wish I already at least fit in my jeans again without having a muffin top. 

Today we aren't going to be home much with some family and friends things we have going on. Will have to pay close attention to my food and bring my snacks with me. Adios.

thinking thinking thinking

The thing with consuming less calories for me is THINKING about how I can't eat whatever I want. I think about food way more than I did when I could eat whatever. This I know is part of my alcoholic mind. I know my thinking is different but I am sure others can relate to a sort of obsession of thinking about food when you can't have it. When you first get sober you think about alcohol a lot. I mean it was what you looked forward to, what your body wanted and when you don't get it anymore well you tend to obsess. I know I have that with food on some level. There are Overeaters Anonymous meetings but I like my AA program. I have no desire to do another 12 steps for eating.

I know why Weight Watchers gives nursing moms 14 extra points...because we are still sooooo effing hungry!! I would only get 26 points not nursing but with only breastfeeding I get 40! I use them all too! Today has been hard hunger wise.

It was unseasonably cold this morning so I didn't walk when I normally do. I waited until about 3pm which made it a crisp 52 degrees. I walked 2.09 miles. The last .2 was with a baby in my arms. E got upset at the end so I carried her the part. It was hard. I wish I got extra points or steps for CARRYING a baby. I am walking with my friend tomorrow morning. We are going to breakfast after that. I went ahead and looked at their menu so I could plan ahead what I was going to order. Yay for planning.

My weakness is sweets. I love Dr. Pepper too. I found the smaller tiny cans of the regular Dr. Pepper so I can still have my fix. I should buy a few Diet Cokes too. Diet Coke is 0 WW points.

The Weekend & Weight Watchers

My husband took G & C camping this weekend. I went out there during the day for a few hours. I was excited because I thought I would be out there long enough to get my 10,000 steps in. I got my fitbit in the mail last Monday and had yet to get 10,000 steps, which is the recommended amounts of steps everyone is supposed to do per day. I failed at getting that many steps in either day. I was disappointed because we went on a nature walk and just stood around the camp site. I finally got my 10,000 steps in yesterday. That included a 1.78 mile walk with E, laundry, cleaning the house, and the still walking ~700 steps in the house just to get over the 10,000 mark! I was tired. I will work my way up to more walking with E though. She enjoys the walks and usually falls asleep.

I took a picture of myself in my new swimsuit. I haven't bought a swimsuit since 2007. And it covered my stomach. This does not. Oy! I am not happy with how I look. But I
am working on it.

 

In the beginning

There are a million blogs out there where people are documenting their weight loss. I am just one in a sea of blogs but that is okay because this my journey. This is my record. I haven't had a blog, and open blog, in a couple of years. Even if no one ever reads this it will still be my words and my experience.

A little about me. I am 31 year old  from Oklahoma but have resided in Texas for 10 years. I am a wife to a crazy/super cool husband & mother to 3 beautiful children. I am a stay at home mom, recovering alcoholic (sober 3 years), and creator of crafts. My kiddos: G is 6 and in the 1st grade, C is 4 and in preschool, and E is 7 weeks old. E is part of the reason I am loosing weight. After G, I lost all by 10lbs of my baby weight. After C, I lost all of the baby weight but still had the 10lbs from G. Currently I am 159 lbs. I gained 34lbs with E. I was up to 179. My goal weight is 130. It is where I am comfortable. I haven't been 130 since about 2007.

What am I doing to loose weight? I am a runner but it's not possible for me to run right now. So I walk. I bought a fitbit and it's a great motivator. I am starting Weight Watchers on Tuesday. I would rather change my food ways than working out a lot. I have always done well on Weight Watchers so I am excited to start. Plus I like the meetings even though I don't say anything. It reminds me a lot of AA meetings. The reason I chose this name for my blog is because right now I don't have much love for my body. I feel gross. My clothes don't fit very well and I refuse to buy new clothes. The AA meeting on Tuesday was about Love and Tolerance of myself. I want to love my body even if I am not at my goal weight yet. I really do not like this picture of myself and I have never put a picture like this of myself on the internet. But here goes. Here is the before picture: