I 'stress-ate' tonight

I am a stress eater. I eat when I am bored. I eat when I want to buy something but it doesn't cost a lot. I like to buy clothes but I don't like paying very much for them. I will leave the store without buying anything and the first thing I think is..."I'll go to Sonic." I have been better about not doing that. I actually resisted doing that today. I actually ate pretty well today. Then I went to a meeting. E babbles and talks now so going to meetings is increasingly difficult. We took her into the sitter but then she screamed. Last week hubby's sister watched her for 45 minutes without us there and she did fine! At a meeting last Friday she let someone hold her for 15.

So, we left. I haven't left a meeting early since I was drunk during the meeting and felt guilty. Then hubby and I were discussing something else and all I wanted to do was eat something. I did have a little part of my brain think, don't completely blow it, but I still wanted something. I haven't had a Dr. Pepper in I don't know how long. This is new because I L.O.V.E. Dr. Pepper. Mmmmmm. We stopped at QT. I got a 12oz Dr. Pepper and a SKOR bar. The pop was good, but the candy bar didn't quite live up to its comforting fantasy. I don't feel guilty over the candy or pop, but I just feel meh.

I was watching Extreme Weight Loss (which I love) and the lady started out at 290 at 5"4'. She got down to 145. I thought, she is smaller than me. OH WAIT! No, I am 143.4. I honestly still picture myself at 150. I have been thinking about why I don't feel motivated. I am the type to figure out WHY a behavior is happening and treat the problem. My guess right now is my clothes don't feel any loser. I see a small change in my appearance, but it's so minimal right now that I feel like I have no rewards. Plus, time is creeping right now.

The kids go back to school in a month. They have been good overall this summer. It's the first time I have had them home full time since they were babies. I just want some routine back I guess. Hopefully I can get out of this unmotivated rut and get my butt in gear. I think I need to make a happy list! Things I should pat myself on the back for doing.

I have lost almost 17lbs in 3 months.
I feel better overall.
I am not as tired as I used to be.
I went outside and played soccer with G on Tuesday.
I have STUCK with this, even when I have not felt motivated.
I am still losing. I haven't actually gained.

There it is. I feel a tiny bit better. One day at a time my friends.

Weigh In #12

I have felt stuck and unmotivated. I am not sure what to do to get myself motivated. I would like to work out. When I am bored I want to eat or bake. OH how I love to bake. I love making treats for my kids and my lovelyhubby. That is just a recipe for disaster.

So my scale this morning said 144.2. Not thrilled because I was at 143.6 earlier this week. Whatever, it's still less than what I was last week.

I get to WW to weigh in. I was nervous. I am nervous every week.

144.6. Thank goodness a loss of .6! So as of today, -16.6.

I need to figure out a motivation. I am not sure my next WW goal. I'd like a small one. I think I'll make it for myself. So my next goal is a loss of 20lbs. That is 3.4lbs. I am still on track to get to my goal weight by E's first birthday. That makes me happy.

Picture Progress

My scale yesterday said 143.6! I haven't been 143 since 2010!! I wore some shorts today that were too big. I didn't realize it until they were falling off.

April, May, June, & July.

 April & July