I 'stress-ate' tonight

I am a stress eater. I eat when I am bored. I eat when I want to buy something but it doesn't cost a lot. I like to buy clothes but I don't like paying very much for them. I will leave the store without buying anything and the first thing I think is..."I'll go to Sonic." I have been better about not doing that. I actually resisted doing that today. I actually ate pretty well today. Then I went to a meeting. E babbles and talks now so going to meetings is increasingly difficult. We took her into the sitter but then she screamed. Last week hubby's sister watched her for 45 minutes without us there and she did fine! At a meeting last Friday she let someone hold her for 15.

So, we left. I haven't left a meeting early since I was drunk during the meeting and felt guilty. Then hubby and I were discussing something else and all I wanted to do was eat something. I did have a little part of my brain think, don't completely blow it, but I still wanted something. I haven't had a Dr. Pepper in I don't know how long. This is new because I L.O.V.E. Dr. Pepper. Mmmmmm. We stopped at QT. I got a 12oz Dr. Pepper and a SKOR bar. The pop was good, but the candy bar didn't quite live up to its comforting fantasy. I don't feel guilty over the candy or pop, but I just feel meh.

I was watching Extreme Weight Loss (which I love) and the lady started out at 290 at 5"4'. She got down to 145. I thought, she is smaller than me. OH WAIT! No, I am 143.4. I honestly still picture myself at 150. I have been thinking about why I don't feel motivated. I am the type to figure out WHY a behavior is happening and treat the problem. My guess right now is my clothes don't feel any loser. I see a small change in my appearance, but it's so minimal right now that I feel like I have no rewards. Plus, time is creeping right now.

The kids go back to school in a month. They have been good overall this summer. It's the first time I have had them home full time since they were babies. I just want some routine back I guess. Hopefully I can get out of this unmotivated rut and get my butt in gear. I think I need to make a happy list! Things I should pat myself on the back for doing.

I have lost almost 17lbs in 3 months.
I feel better overall.
I am not as tired as I used to be.
I went outside and played soccer with G on Tuesday.
I have STUCK with this, even when I have not felt motivated.
I am still losing. I haven't actually gained.

There it is. I feel a tiny bit better. One day at a time my friends.

Weigh In #12

I have felt stuck and unmotivated. I am not sure what to do to get myself motivated. I would like to work out. When I am bored I want to eat or bake. OH how I love to bake. I love making treats for my kids and my lovelyhubby. That is just a recipe for disaster.

So my scale this morning said 144.2. Not thrilled because I was at 143.6 earlier this week. Whatever, it's still less than what I was last week.

I get to WW to weigh in. I was nervous. I am nervous every week.

144.6. Thank goodness a loss of .6! So as of today, -16.6.

I need to figure out a motivation. I am not sure my next WW goal. I'd like a small one. I think I'll make it for myself. So my next goal is a loss of 20lbs. That is 3.4lbs. I am still on track to get to my goal weight by E's first birthday. That makes me happy.

Picture Progress

My scale yesterday said 143.6! I haven't been 143 since 2010!! I wore some shorts today that were too big. I didn't realize it until they were falling off.

April, May, June, & July.

 April & July

Weigh in #11

Weight at home: 144.6

Weight Watchers Weight: 145.2

That means I made my 10% goal. I have lost 10% of my body weight! That is 16lbs!

I only lost .2 this week. I did not eat that great, I rarely tracked and I didn't work out. I only needed to lose .2 to make my 10% goal though. It's hard to believe I have lost that much weight. 16lbs!

I want to list the things I am not happy about my body. I don't think right now it is productive, but I want to look back and see if it's changed.

My stomach is still were most of my weight is. I assumed it would shrink more since I am below what I was even at my 150 before E.

My arms.

My love handles.

I know I could work on all of this by doing exercises that would target those areas. But I don't have that much time or motivation to do it. I did play soccer with G last night. My legs are sore. Maybe I should do that more often. Change stuff up. Also, a tragedy of epic proportions happened. I lost my fitbit for 2 days! lol It's okay now, because I found it.

Thoughts on feeling stuck

I have been so focused on getting to my pre-pregnancy weight that I feel weird that I am still losing after it. I am at 145.8 which is below that. I feel like I am stuck, even though I am not stuck. It doesn't feel real that I am still losing the weight. 130 seems so far away. Yet, I have lost 15lbs in 10 weeks. How is that possible?!

I think part of why I feel stuck is my clothes still fit differently. I am guessing it is because of the pregnancy itself. Which is okay. I can handle that. I am nervous that once I get to 130 I still won't be happy. I guess that is what the journey is about. The theme of this blog is to love myself ON this journey. Love my body the way it is before I make it. If I don't love my body now, I know I won't be happy once I make it to 130.

Weigh in #10!

Weight Watchers: 145.4
Home: 145.8

I have no idea how I weighed LESS at WW than my home scale. 

I did not track that well this week. I was in Arizona and I ate more cookies than I should have. I did eat in most of the time because it was so hot. Plus I had E at home with me while most people went out to do stuff. I did swim and we went shopping on Friday. 

I really want to walk/jog again. It's just TOO HOT! And I am not getting up at 6-630am to walk/run. I will just have to wait for it to cool off. 

Here are my measurements to date:

WW weight
4/23: 161.2
7/8: 145.4
-15.8

4/23/13
Waist: 40.5
Hips:41

7/8/13
Waist: 38
Hips: 38.5

H: -2.5 inches
W: -2.5 inches

Weigh in #9

I have completely forgotten to post the pictures from June. I am not motivated enough to do it right now. Ha.

I weighed in today because I won't be in town tomorrow. I never know what it will say because my scale, their scale, and the variation of activity between weighing myself and their scale is never the same.

My scale said 146.6 this morning. This is a good weight, as it's less than last week. I go at my normal 9-930 time. It says 146.4!! Woot. That is the weight I was on their scales before I got pregnant. So officially I have lost all my pregnancy weight! Now I just have to lose the weight from G, who will be 7 in August. hehe.

(Side note, while I am typing my husband is singing God Bless The USA to E. haha